A lot of you have been wondering how I've been doing lately. I am rather modest when it comes to public complaining. Truth is, life has been really hard lately. I never wanted to admit that this disease was having any affect on my day to day agenda. But I can't hide it anymore: it is. From the blood I cough up every morning, to the pain and fatigue, to the depression.....my cancer is real.
Let's pick up where we left off with my caringbridge story. I started radiation on my ulcerated chest tumor (as well as the entire left chest wall) on July 2nd, 2013. At the same time, I began ingesting cannabis oil. I also was applying it topically directly to the wound. After just three days, the tumor began to shrink dramatically. When I brought this up to the radiologists, they brushed it off in doubt, saying that it was WAY too early to be seeing results from radiation. (I have not informed my oncologists of my cannabis oil decision). I had 18 rounds of radiation. By the 10th or 11th session (2 weeks on cannabis oil), the tumor was no longer visible. I continued with treatments which were very, very tough on me. Every appointment drained me more and more, and the burns I received were atrocious. My armpit was so badly burned that I couldn't move my arm for several days. My skin peeled in chunks, and the hair still hasn't regrown. (oh darn)
I had a nutritional analysis ordered by my integrative doctor. Results showed that I am deficient in a majority of vital vitamins, minerals, antioxidants.... basically, I haven't been absorbing many nutrients, despite how healthy I have been eating. My levels of an important antioxidant, glutathione, were so low that taking tylenol could be a dangerous decision. I began taking high quality supplements to make up for my deficiencies. I also began a parasite cleanse to hopefully get rid of any free-loaders that are making it hard for me to absorb nutrition.
We went on a family roadtrip to Bemidji the weekend of August 9th. On the ride, we stopped to use the restrooms when I suffered an extremely sharp pain in my lower pelvis. The excruciating pain lasted a few days; even 3 pain meds couldn't cut through it. My abdomen swelled up. I couldn't move without help. I thought I was in big trouble. I slept away the rest of our trip.
I began to feel a little better, so I held off on seeing my oncologist until my upcoming appointment, which was August, 20. At the appointment, we decided that from here on out, it's a matter of keeping me as comfortable and active for as long as possible. We'll come across problems...some that can be fixed, and others that will be more severe, until eventually they are life threatening. I had my blood checked to show critically low hemoglobin. I had a nine hour transfusion that evening. My energy was through the roof the next day. That fresh blood was good stuff.
The following day I had a CT scan. They made me drink berry-flavored elmers glue (they call it contrast) throughout the morning. After the scan, I felt horribly sick. Again, for several days.
A week later, I met with the doc again to discuss the scan results. It showed additional tumors in my lungs (numerous tiny ulcerations), slight growth in my liver tumor, and significant change in my pelvis area, revealing (2) 10cm tumors. I had my blood checked again, and my hemoglobin was again low. That night I had another transfusion. Mom, dad, and Grandma came to keep me company, and spoiled me in the process. I do sure wish they lived closer.
It's been three days since my transfusion, and I am still feeling pretty good. It's amazing how much energy fresh blood gives me. I might have to become a vampire.
So as things stand, it's a matter of "when", not "if". I'll continue my supplements and oil in hopes they'll extend my quality of life. I'm still hoping for a miracle....I just think it's time to be at peace with it all.
I'm sorry I let you all down. I really thought I could do this the natural way. I thought I could figure it out and heal. But I guess this rare, aggressive cancer has other plans. I do not doubt for one second that cancer has a cure that is being suppressed. There is proof everywhere. I just haven't found mine yet. And I don't know If I will in this lifetime.
